Eight Conversation Competencies for Leaders

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By Dene Rossouw

There are at least eight essential conversation competencies that can help CEOs engage their stakeholders, peers, clients and staff in a more productive and meaningful way. The CEO is also the Chief Engagement Officer – each conversation is an investment, and when the ‘CEO’ gets it right, he or she can experience a very good return on engagement (ROE) as a culture of authentic engagement begins to trickle through the organization.

1. Showing up with an authentic voice
How a leader sees him or herself impacts on how he or she shows up in the marketplace and workplace. Taking time to first look inward and understand how he or she see their world, their own ways of being, thinking and acting and the resulting patterns of engagement will help to explore, with feedback, more productive ways of engaging self and others. The process of recognizing and letting go of limiting beliefs that clouds success, enables leaders to show up with a new sense of clarity and purpose.

A leader who is transparent and congruent comes across as more authentic and confident, and others are drawn in to a dialogue, the art of creating a new destiny together.

2.  Conducting effective, honest and purposeful conversations
One of the most powerful tools for deep dialogue is committed listening, which involves a set of interrelated skills: open-ended questioning, paraphrasing, acknowledging feelings, non-verbal encouragers and summarizing. It’s the commitment to listen to the unique experiences of another person by hearing not only the words but sensing and responding to the underlying feelings, and unexpressed meanings behind the words. An essential competency is the ability to communicate authentically and remain true to oneself while not violating the rights of others. This includes having skilled, results-driven conversations about performance, productivity and quality.

3. Engaging in tough, conflict conversations when necessary
Every leader needs the confidence and capability to lean into tough conversations with people perceived to be difficult. The mere act of showing up, rather than avoiding tough conversations, will most often result in a better outcome than what was at first anticipated, and often results in a more positive and collaborative outcome.

4. Collaborating with customers
Building collaborative internal and external client relationships that help to differentiate the organization from the competition is critical. Every organization is handed two ‘aces’, which can be played continuously or withheld. The first ACE is to cultivate an Authentic Culture of Engagement within the organization. Playing this ACE is counterintuitive, because it’s not high risk. The second ACE is to introduce the practice of Authentic Customer Engagement at every customer touch point. Playing both ‘aces’ in the organizational pack are relatively low cost exercises, yet the Returns On Engagement (ROE) and productivity is immense.

5. Communicating change
Communicating constantly with employees during change is critical. Employees at all levels have the same fundamental questions about their job. According to Roger D’Aprix, leaders need to recognize that staff – especially those who are most impacted by the change – ask six fundamental questions when change happens: “What’s my job?” “How am I doing?” “Does anyone care?” “How are we doing?” “What’s our vision and values?” and “How can I help?”

6. Communicating bad news
There is a significant difference between what leaders want to tell employees and what they want to hear. Too often leaders think they have communicated, when in fact, they we have simply sent out information. Without allowing for an opportunity to discuss, and thereby allowing for the potential to establish understanding, communicating bad news to staff so they really understand has not truly occurred. Leaders need to know how to communicate the unpleasant stuff authentically and with integrity in a timely fashion.

7. Conducting persuasive presentations
Another important competency for every leader is the ability to engage, inspire and inform others through principled persuasion. The art of principled persuasion means leaders use their essential signature – the way they see themselves, the way they show up and sell themselves to boost their personal effectiveness. It includes developing a compelling message, incorporate compelling stories and analogies that make the message stick, structuring the presentation effectively, articulating the benefits and being very clear on the point and having a clear call to action.

8. Facilitating productive meetings
Meetings that occur without much direction are breeding grounds for hijacked agendas, whine sessions and major time wasters. These types of meetings tend to drain the energy out of everyone whereas meetings that are productive and purposeful tend to generate energy. Every leader needs to know how to facilitate productive meetings and get the most out of group interactions within shorter time frames. Having clear rules of engagement, good facilitation and a functional structure are essential for having productive meetings.

Dene Rossouw is presenting “We Need to Talk” – How to Discuss What Really Matters in Kelowna on November 3, 2011. For more information on this or other professional development opportunities, please refer to BC HRMA’s online calendar.

Dene Rossouw specializes in persuasive presentations, influencing stakeholders and effective communication. Dene is an Integrative Coach, the Past President of the Vancouver chapter of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers, a Certified Emotional Intelligence facilitator and has the Associate Certificate in Workplace Conflict from the Justice Institute of British Columbia. He is a Certified Executive Coach from Royal Roads University and has a degree in theology from University of South Africa. For more information visit www.authenticdialogue.com.

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